Candice Curtis & Crohns Disease: I'm winning!!!

Monday, 9 April 2007

I'm winning!!!

Hi All,

Today has been a good day. I was only up last night at 03:00 and 04:00 and then again at 08:00. I did have a little rest, lye in today, as the riding yesterday did make me exhausted! So after doing some computer work in the morning and just having water and fresh lemon, juice and slices I decided to have a small fruit smoothie - truthfully I didn't have much in! So 5 strawberry's and 2 bananas with some water made me a lovely thick smoothie (tomorrows will only have one banana and the other 4 fruit quota! It was a bit thick!!). I then had to speed down to the post office to confirm a price to send a saddle cloth over the pond to Colorado, USA. I also went to the health shop and bought some rice cakes, rice crisps, sesame seed and honey bars, soya milk - vanilla flavour (last time I tried soya i hated it but I have a good feeling this time i will ease myself into it and love it!) Some gluten free corn flakes with honey (one of my main nags after stopping dairy for most of my Crohns life was cereal, I always seemed to fancy some cereal, so I thought I'd try this gluten free corn flakes and soya milk. If I don't come to like it at least i tried!) I also bought lots of veg and fresh fruit and baking soda. Luckily enough I managed to have a surprise chat with Dr Frank Nyi just over a month ago, he is a Chinese therapist to all the stars in Hollywood! Anyway he advised that I take some baking soda for about 10 days along with cutting out the usual - dairy, wheat, sugars etc... Finally I managed to find some today! Baring in mind I have been ill! Anyway, ab-so-lut-ely disgusting! I was pretty much throwing up after I drank it, it's still giving me the 'grose judder'! However fingers crossed it will do it's job and calm all of the irritated bowls! So back to today's diet, I had the smoothy, then a sesame seed bar, then I had a few slices of cucumber and a slice of goats cheese. I then went to the gym, just a small work out only 10 minutes on the bike and 3 sets of 10 reps for the main groups of muscles on the limbs! Didn't want to over do (I have a tendency for this!) I then came back, put some sardines in the oven with some olive oil and sea salt and let them bake for about 30 mins, only turning them once. Not one to waste time, whilst i waited for them to cook i put my 11 horses to bed and then came in an enjoyed eating my sardines! I was ill about 5 minutes after with 2 strong bouts and diarrhoeas but actually diarrhoea and not toxic water! The cramps were tremendous as normal but short lived! I'm now writing this about 20 minutes on! Now I'd just like to mention if I haven't already in previous posts, made this clear. My main helping aid in my current relapse is my mental stimulation of understanding the laws of the universe and learning and researching how to implement the tools I am learning. This learning time I have also mixed in with me time. By this I mean just being with me, no TV, no radio, no people, just me on my bed, relaxing and focusing and refocusing my attention to my intentions. Let me give you the examples of today's techniques. Not just whilst I'm relaxing but every moment I check my thoughts, every moment I'm physically doing something, creating energy whilst I'm walking or riding or at the gym and even whilst going to the loo! I am focusing my attentions on my intentions. My current intentions are 1. To be enjoying a healthy happy life, where I can exercise and eat and socialise AND enjoy! 2. My mortgage money is in my hand by Friday 13th April 2007, all signed sealed and delivered into my hand by Friday 13 th April 2007, this Friday! 3. www.hinttworld.com climbs the success ladder soon making €1500 per week, orders fly into my paypal account and I enjoy packing and sending my new Hintt members their goodies! My paypal account increases to €1500 per week income very quickly and by the end of the year, December 31st 2007 my www.hinttworld.com income is €100,000. So these have been my main focus, I visualise the paypal account showing €1500. (I am just about to print off a account statement from them and write on it €1500 with the dates stating it's coming in every week!) Knowing that my mortgage will come through and I will have the cash in my hand on Friday the 13th April 2007. I'm also looking around whilst at the gym taking in sounds and smells to help me visualize aspects of my healthy fun life when I'm not actually there exercising! So my healthy happy life thoughts relate to exercise, eating and socialising and I generate thoughts of me doing the things before I actually do them. Bringing in aspects which make the intentions real, smells, sounds, feelings, breathing - when I go out on rides where the countryside is beautiful i always breathe in deeply a few times savouring being a alive! These positive thinking tools are not to be taken lightly, how many times have you thought that 'I'm trying, I'm trying but I'm just not getting anywhere? Well your the only one who has created your situation and the moment you let go and accept this, you can start travelling the fabulous road to enlightenment! Seriously any of you Crohnees out there, if you want to get better you have to start paying attention to the tools that are available to you, for you to take hold of your own destiny. I am building these tools at the moment and after having Crohns for over 12.5 years I really do know a little about the condition that I have and how things work and THIS method of growing and implementing what we've all tapped into at some point in our lives, with out even realising it. Is by far the best treatment I have ever used! My crohns journey has been of a high level of severity at all times. After nearly dying I was rushed into hospital to have an emergency op'. after the op' Crohns does not come back for around 2 years (this was what was stated at the time). Unfortunately mine came back 2 months later and with a vengeance. cutting the crohns out only aggravated it more! So after the strongest steroids and many other drugs I started to feel a bit better. More good days than bad. I mean every day has been a crohns day, pain and the loo after meals but things were getting easier and more controllable and I found I could eat what i liked- I have realised that I was lying to myself at this stage, my common saying was "Well everything makes me ill so what does it matter what I eat, I'll eat what I want when I want" Thank goodness my attitude has changed now! Talk about my ego! Anyway this ramble was just to explain that I am a good candidate to be testing how I control my crohns and how i will cure my crohns to having a healthy, wealthy and wise life! Moving back to the point "and THIS method of growing and implementing what we've all tapped into at some point in our lives, with out even realising it. Is by far the best treatment I have ever used!" We've been tapping into the energy that is all around and within us. There are no reasons why we can't cure Crohns with what the universe provides us. If your open to this and you know what you want for your life by the end of this year, in 5 years and in 10 years then the links below will provide you with some tools I have been using over these last few weeks. If you think this is a magical cure, you'd be wrong, this is a life long commitment to your self and something that you will only be a master of through solid commitment. So today I have accomplished going to the post office, health store and supermarket as well as the gym and I have had a mild day in the severity of my flair ups. So something is working! Quite a few variables today so can't be sure if anything particular has made today better, if it's all of it together or if the main conditioning has been mentally. You see I came into this bout from a good appetite phase. so I have enjoyed testing my will power. I have all my easter eggs sitting in front of me in my room and there is a kitchen full of all the naughties down stairs! So when the flip happened and my body said 'time out', I felt like a food addicts for a few days! Thankfully this passed and I am dealing less and less with my ego tempting me! A tanyism for you to think about, "The quality of your life is directly proportional of your peer groups. You become who you spend time with. Just as cells that fire together wire together, so do people." quoted from a friend Sodi Michaels Create energy for things to FLOW to you. Neurotransmitters work best when movement and intent work together. Think of a incantation and apply movement to it. This will generate energy and increase FLOW. Seriously Crohnees this is working for me, I'm actually trying it for the first time, learning and growing and manifesting. Making conscious efforts with my diet, fighting the ego that wants other foods but keeping my appetite functioning (it is diminishing but is still here!), getting up and doing things, trying to get my PH levels to a more alkaline state and lastly but most importantly growing mentally and applying my new knowledge to my physical as well as mental state. Good luck to all of you out there and please let me know what your thoughts are on what I've written! Love Healthiee!

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From diagnosis to now.

This needs to be updated as it was written at the time the blog was started....
My crohns diagnosis - 14 years ago I suffered over 1.5 years with increasing stomach cramps far worse than the worst of a normal person, then the 2nd 6 months, I spent most days and nights in pure agony and was sick all the time. Gradually I was being sick 20 times a night with the last 10 - 15 times being just bile. The weirdest thing was that when I was being sick i didn't have any pain! So I almost looked forward to being sick just to alleviate the pain! During this time (and for a good few years afterwards) I was taking a huge amount of strong painkillers, I was living on them. The next 6 months preceded with less sickness but with pain that was much more server than the initial year. During this time (1.5 yrs) I saw my family GP and a few others and they all said you have irritable bowl syndrome and take some peppermint oil or other similar stupid comments. No-one doing any tests, most not even touching my stomach to investigate! Finally after I had been screaming in bed for 2 weeks my dad called the doctor to come out, however they refused and told me to come in, again to my GP. He sent me to see a specialist as he thought it was my appendix - that it was going to burst (This comment had been a bit of a floater in comments from doctors that it could be my appendix at various times but the pain would be moving or doing something uncharacteristic to appendicitis). He decided I would need an operation immediately and the surgeon saw me. He said to me that it wasn't the appendix, that it was something else and it had to be operated on immediately. They removed lots of my intestine's both large and small as they were swollen to the size of very large oranges. After the op' they told me I had Crohns Disease and that there was no known cause of it, it is not infectious and that it is not curable! They said that the symptoms shouldn't return for at least 2 years as no other patient has had it return in that period if they have had an op'. They also said that if I didn't have the op' I would have been dead in 2 days! So I was saved and given a life of no hope. This was when I was diagnosed, they missed all the for ground work and made me get to the point of having to 'need' an operation and then they tell me there is no hope and I'm to lead a life of pain and suffering! Nice eh! I mean morphine didn't even really help me with the pain when I was in the hospital after the op', recovering. This op' happened when I was 18, luckily in one sense for me I've always had a gift to look healthy, no one could see that i was dying then and in the years that followed. So, back to the story..... unfortunately for me my symptoms came back after only 2 months, with vengeance! Hardly enough time to even recover let alone start fighting again. So they stuck me on strong steroids (prednisone, azathiropine, Budesinide to name but not correctly spell, but a few!). Over the next few years I was given more and more drugs that were killing off other parts of my body - my bone marrow for one. I was so skinny and worse... frail, I felt that if some one where to hit my arm it would snap. Not a nice feeling since i've always been a strong little cookie! Anyway over the years things did slowly get worse although at the time there where intervals that made me feel as if things were in remission for a while. I got to a point about 6/7 years ago when I felt I wanted to know how I would be without these killer drugs that I "could never come off." (I had been told that some of these drugs where for life and that I could never come off them) So I tried without, I took a year to ween myself off the various drugs and I tried from then on without any drugs. It was the same time that my grandfather noticed that most pain killers say 'not for crohns patients' within their paper work. So I stopped all drugs and I survived ok, although I was in fact still walking down the path to my inevitable demise. During the time of the op' I had already started experimenting with drugs, the occasional spliff etc.. At some point during the time of still taking the painkillers I noticed that the spliff had more effect than any amount of painkiller. So from that moment in time I continued to use spliffs more and more to help control the pain I was in every minute of every day. Over the years that followed I wasn't conscious about the amount of pain I was in as I'd been living with it and fighting and trying to move forwards with it for so long that it was a part of me. However my life had moved up in speed over the years, racing as best as I could against time. I had suffered for the first 3 years after the op' with the fear and worry and depression that I was living on borrowed time and at any moment it might get snapped away from me. As a young girl this was tough but as usual I accepted things and carried on the best I could. Thinking that this wouldn't have been given to me and I wouldn't have been saved if I couldn't cope. So cope I did. The April flair up wasn't really a.... flair up like I mentioned at the time. It was the end of the road. From the end of 2006 I had started to slow down as I felt the end was near. However my slowing down was only stopping the physical aspect of my life - riding and the such (basically over the last 12 years I have been made to stop riding, through the pain becoming too immense, many times and for long periods as well.) The speed at which I was living at, thinking at and functioning at was, looking back at it, like a super hero speed! So I (in case you hadn't realized I'm not a hypochondriac and I will never let it be known how much i'm suffering - it's just the way i am.) Anyway so I went on holiday jan 07, to try to get a little bit more time on my side - e.g resting on holiday is supposed to refresh you and I hoped it would give me more time as I could feel that it was running out. So by the time I realized that I wasn't going to be able to cure this episode by just resting. I decided to start the blog as I thought if I can get out of this one then it's worth documenting. However I only got to write those few days in april and then I had to stop. Doctors orders! The rest of this year has been been very intense. By the time I actually went to see the doc' (I'd had his number for over a year and had not gone to see him - When I took myself off my drugs I wanted to know what life would be like without them but I had great intentions to try out natural therapies, Chinese, herbs etc.... however this never happened as I was 'coping'. So I had to get to a point where I was 'laughing in the face of death' (by this I mean that I was still in such high spirits and I could feel death was knocking at my door but I was still able to laugh and say " finally i'm at a place where I now can heal myself" and I was finally ready to seek out help, ready both mentally and physically.) As I said this year has been very intense, I can truly say there are a hell of a lot more pain thresholds than i knew existed and to be able to 'feel' your body healing itself, taking you back through the damage in reverse is truly enlightening and painful! It is only now through the healing process that I have understood where i've been, on the road to and from death. In comparison to many other crohns suffers over the years I have always had a more server version - typical, can't do things by half's miss extremist!

However where i'm at at the moment - the doctor cured the energy blockage that was caused by the initial trauma that caused crohns which means the cause of the crohns is gone and now all i have to do is allow the body to heal. This happened a few months ago and I'm doing well, i'm still not well but i will be soon, i'm about 85 - 90% there but this last bit is holding on to make sure than I come back into life, after this healing and maintain the slower paced life and all the things I have learnt. Otherwise i probably would try to over do it again as thats all I've known since i was diagnosed with crohns and before - upbringing. So there has been and still is a lot of re programming of my brain, my way of life has had to completely change and sometimes i still resort back to the old me which i have to notice and then change before i get a reaction from my body! It's all very interesting, how intelligent our bodies are. I will be filling in the experiences of my healing from April to now, within the blog postings over the next few months, as I'm still resting.